


Mister Cellophane

by slenderman8u2



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor does it for Angel too, Alastor is a lawyer (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust Being Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust in trouble (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne sends Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Chicago musical, Court, M/M, Mister Cellophane, OC Mr.Snark, Original Character(s), Protective Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Travis is somehow a prosecutor, radiodust - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:49:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slenderman8u2/pseuds/slenderman8u2
Summary: Angel Dust is accused for a crime he obviously did not commit. Now it is up to him and the Hazbin crew to defend his case in the court trial brought up.An original character "Mr. Snark" accuses Angel of a typical hellish crime. Although the judge just wants the cash, there is a verdict to declare guilty, or not guilty...There is one character that nobody expected to even show up, let alone defend Angel in the mess he caused himself. Was it intentional? Or under the peer pressure of Charlie's innocent puppy eyes?(Chicago Musical, inspired by the song "Mister Cellophane" and the court scene).
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	1. Mister Cellophane

**Author's Note:**

> (Chicago Musical, inspired by the song "Mister Cellophane" and the court scene). 
> 
> I'm not sure whether this will continue into a RadioDust fanfic or not, it's up to everyone who sees this. :) Thank you everyone for reading, it's been awhile since posting but this song always makes me imagine Alastor interrogating someone in a court. It's random, but it had to be written). 
> 
> Please make sure to leave your comments and support below!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel Dust is in the court trial ready to defend his case against Mr. Snark, an OC character. 
> 
> Then an unexpected helper turns up...

“You kiddin’!? I never made a deal with that bozo on the street, ain’t nothin’ but a quick cash grab for the boss man. You get the show biz stuff.”

“It was more than that, you bitch! Val’s got the stuff to prove it, just gotta hit him up with a call and he’ll tell ya what’s right, slut!”

Angel leaned over the stand. “Everyone wants summa me, I don’t ‘ave time for deal makin’ bullshit. Where the hell is my lawyer!”

The bickering started to get out of hand. With one stand beheld an anonymous demon known by the name “Mr. Snark”, known for his works and leadership in the mafia business. Although he was under Valentino’s nose being in a mafia, the man was secretive about his deeds, where his gangs and businesses barely did as asked by Valentino’s goons and instead pursued as they wished for their own goods and needs. 

In the other stand stood the famous porn star Angel Dust, defending his falsely accused crime with the hotel’s support behind him. He couldn’t tell how they felt as he only stared ahead at his opponent, but he could guess a few things right about the crew. 

Angel knew that Charlie was contemplating speaking up, wanting to try her best to defend Angel empty handed. He also knew that Vaggie would stop her, convincing her to let go and have faith in the spider to stand his ground against the mafia leader. The feline in the back probably felt a little guilty not being able to help out after spending time with the porn star frequently, as opposed to Nifty. She was the opposite as she mentally scrutinized Angel daily for his carelessness around the hotel and his own private room. In her mind, this was most definitely revenge she didn’t intentionally plan. Alastor was a mystery; undoubtedly finding joy in the scenario, but did he despise Angel so much that he would allow punishment against their only patron? Even if Charlie would grow upset over the matter?

“Order! Order!” The judge commanded, slamming the gavel down to enforce silence in the court. “Does the young demon have a lawyer?” 

Travis shook his head impatiently. “No he doesn’t. Can we get on with it?” To Angel’s luck, the prosecutor was a familiar face to the spider. Travis, an owl he stole cash from in one instance and was then stalked by the bird ever since. But Angel supposed it was good on the guy for having a stable job in Hell, even if law was meaningless. 

The judge finally nodded, confirming the absence of a lawyer and wanting to proceed with the trial set ahead. “Then the prosecution may-”

“I object!”

All heads turned around to face the end of the courtroom, watching a man in red stroll down the aisle. 

Travis gritted his teeth. “I didn’t get to ask a question yet!”

“Your honour…” The flicker of a crimson tailcoat followed behind a pair of hooves, tapping down against the wood towards the stands with a cheery voice behind the static, where Alastor approached Angel and stood beside him. He grinned mischievously at Travis. “I believe I am Angel Dust’s lawyer. May we proceed?” 

Angel stared down at Alastor, baffled at the mysterious appearance of The Radio Demon. He decided to ride it out and see how it goes, understanding that the demon’s intentions were most likely under the princess pressuring him into helping the situation. “My lawyer is here.”

The judge tensed up with the rest of the room, puzzled to the random attendance of the radio host. “Very well, let us proceed. If you may, Alastor.” The judge decided. The deer trotted his way over to Travis’s side, before turning towards the demon Angel seemed to trouble consequentially. 

Alastor’s microphone manifested from the air, landing in the grasp of his hand as he started mustering a puffy cloud of red to swarm the room. The room was filled with static and jazz, a tune filling the silence everyone made. 

* * *

_It began with hooves echoing from every corner of the room, gradually becoming louder towards the demon that fought the case against Angel. A tuft of red and black hair popped up right in front of the mafia leader, before its mouth opened to reveal a charming voice with no static present._

_“If someone stood up in a crowd, and raised his voice up way out loud… And waved his arm and shook his leg. You’d notice him?”_

_Alastor circled the demon with a grin, before vanishing into the shadows to reform beside his beloved co-worker. “If someone in the movie show” he wrapped his arm around Vaggie’s shoulder, “yelled… Fire! In the second row! This whole place is a powder keg!” He shook her rapidly, startling her out of her internal anger before the two met face to face; frown to grin. “You’d notice him…”_

_The singing started to aggravate the demon. “Get to tha-”_

_Out of thin air, a hand came over the demon’s mouth, grasping his lips tight as the scent of The Radio Demon overwhelmed him. “And even without clucking like a hen. Everyone gets noticed, now and then” Alastor released the demon to return back to Angel’s side. “Unless of course that personage should be… Invisible,” he took both of Angel’s hands and held them up above his head, waving them gently. “Inconsequential, me~” The spider grew flushed to the overlord’s touch, before shutting down the sensitive thoughts. It wasn’t the right time to tease The Radio Demon, especially when he was the only one who could get Angel out of this mess._

_The stand seemed to be engulfed by shadows, clouding the lights that were blaring from above until the deer was seen standing in the centre, tapping his microphone against the ground rhythmically._

_“Cellophane, Mister, Cellophane~ Shoulda, been my name- Mister, Cellophane…” He waved his microphone around, pointing it directly to the spider’s opponent as he walked closer towards the demon. “‘Cause you can look right through me, walk right by me. And never know I’m there…”_

* * *

“Mr. Snark” the deer leaned over the opponent’s stand, grinning wide as his toothy smile reflected in the demon’s fearsome eyes. “If you knew the fellow for so long, so long in fact that the both of you formed a deal between each other. Why could you not recognize his absence?” He interrogated. 

Mr.Snark furrowed his eyebrows, growing ever more agitated to the overlord’s charades. “I was there!”

Alastor’s grin widened. “But how often?” He asked carefully. 

“How often what?” 

“How often did you see him?”

The mafia leader slapped his hand down against the stand. “I don’t know! Uh, a few hours a day?” He scratched the back of his neck anxiously as the deer leaned inward towards him.

“My, my! That is a weak answer, Mr. Snark”

The demon huffed. “Well I could have visited more if I wanted to-”

“Oh, but you didn’t!” Alastor interrupted sharply. 

“No I did-”

“Did what?” The deer quickly asked.

“...Want to-”

“But you didn’t.”

The demon threw his arms up in the air. “Didn’t what!?”

“What you wanted! What you could have done!” Alastor laughed at his confusion, mocking the brave demon for being in such a position against the overlord. His hooves tapped against the wooden floor more as he leaned forward against the stand, staring eye to eye with noses barely touching. “Now tell me, Mr. Snark. Did you, or did you not want to visit Angel Dust on a daily basis?”

Mr. Snark bawled up his fists, digging his nails into his own palms to the irritating static voice. 

“Of course I did!”

* * *

_Red claws coddled the feline at the back of the courtroom, watching the scene from afar until he was dragged into Alastor’s charade again. “Suppose you was a little cat, residin’ in a person’s flat. Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?” Husk’s ear scratching was inevitable, feeling the overlord scratch them teasingly for his attention to turn back to Angel’s opponent. “You’d notice him.”_

_“I haven’t got a cat!” The demon raged from the front, forcing the spider to snicker._

_Alastor walked down the aisle in a hurry, lifting his microphone up to point daggers into the demon’s chest as he furthermore interrogated. In return, Mr. Snark backed away slightly. “Suppose you was a woman, wed. And sleepin’ in a double bed- beside one man for seven years! You’d notice him.”_

_Their opponent was silenced by the appearance of the red deer behind the demon, grasping the man’s shoulders to emphasize his points. “An afterlife being is made of more than air. With all that bulk, you’re bound to see him there. Unless…” He gestured towards Angel suggestively. “...That demon bein’ next to you. Is, unimpressive? Undistinguished? You know who!”_

* * *

“I talked to the slut everyday!” Argued the mafia leader, now risen from his seat to protest against the overlord lawyer with more force. 

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yes!” He pleaded, feeling his voice croak under the peer pressure. 

Alastor almost pitied him to his last words in the courtroom. “Then there is a contradiction…”

Their opponent sat back down slowly; hesitantly, his hands grasping the edges of his chair as he uncertainly stared up at the overlord. “...What?”

Travis rushed up to his feet and pointed fingers at Angel accusingly. “Your honour, I haven’t even asked a single-”

“Denied. Alastor, proceed” shut down the judge, pinching his chin intriguingly to the trial’s escalation. 

Alastor nodded, grinning crazily to himself; excited to wrap up the trial with yet another successful day, and another task that appeases the princess oh so dearly. “If you, as claimed by you yourself, talked to Angel Dust every single day. Then surely you must be aware of whether he committed the crime or not?” 

“What if he committed the crime at a different time of the day!” The demon was now desperate, throwing out whatever he could to stall time. His eyes desperately stared at Travis, but the owl watched helplessly as The Radio Demon ripped into the mafia leader. 

Mr. Snark gulped a hard knot down his throat. “I assure you that is not the case, for you see... “ Alastor proudly turned around to stare back at Charlie, who was beaming towards her overprotective partner with a spear. This was it, Alastor was going to win the trial and sponsor the hotel in some way. The princess knew she had to pay the overlord back soon after the court trial’s conclusion. “Angel Dust is our first patron to the hotel. He is needed for the majority of day time and he is away at work during the evenings, allowing only an open window of approximately a few hours. Therefore... “ He cleverly swiveled on his heels back towards the demon merrily. “...The only few hours you claim to have with Angel Dust everyday are the only free hours he has per afternoon. Does that mean you were in contact with him during the crime that took place?”

“No!” Mr.Snark’s knees began to quiver. “I-I talked to him over the phone-” He now held onto the stand for dear life. 

The deer tutted him yet again. “That is incorrect. The hotel crew management confiscated the mobile device for further investigation, as surely enough there was not one message on the masterpiece!”

“W-”

“Ah, there were also no phone calls delivered or answered that afternoon also, Mr. Snark! It seems you have dug a hole far enough now” Alastor teased. “So do tell the story one more time, explaining how Angel Dust was the culprit for the crime?”

The demon pulled the collar around his neck loosely, feeling the sweat beads roll down from his forehead. “W-Well…” He stammered. “Valentino has evidence! He-”

“He told me everything, don’t you fret darling. Oh he told me everything indeed…” Alastor chuckled darkly. “...Everything that made you the real culprit.”

* * *

_“I tell ya!”_

_The microphone in hand whisked up a hallucination beyond the jury’s eyes, with imagery displaying the afternoon of the crime. A pistol held in the hands of Mr. [name], firing at one of Valentino’s precious goons. The corpse collapsed to the ground with a wound to the head, before the pistol dropped to the ground. A pistol ingrained with Mr. Snark’s mafia symbols._

_“Cellophane! Mister, Cellophane! Shoulda… Been my name. Mister, Cellophane.”_

_“T-That’s not me!” Cried the leader, now feeling the jury’s eyes hawk down at him. He pulled harder on his shirt, rendering his attempts useless as the evidence continued to flow in, whilst he was left empty handed to defend himself._

_Another hallucination combust into a flashback of the events that took place. With the demon fleeing the crime, the inconvenient timing of Angel Dust sprinting down the same alleyway, neglecting the dead corpse on the ground. His clumsy heels kicked the pistol out of his way, ready for nearby witnesses to accuse the spider of committing the crime as they made it out to be him fleeing instead. The jury gasped in unison as the judge nodded in understanding, tearing down the opponent once and for all._

_“‘Cause you can look right through me! Walk right by me,” Alastor tapped his microphone against the floor again, summarizing all of the hallucinations with one final piece of evidence. Alastor, hidden in the background, a witness to the crime and then the falsely accused individual running behind. Like a creature ready to pounce, like a stalker noting down every detail about the individual. Like the ominous, unpredictable Radio Demon, sent that night to overlook Angel as requested by the princess- only to be entertained with the crime scene and the upcoming court date. “And never know I’m there!”_

_“Never even know I’m there…”_

* * *

“Hope I didn’t take up too much of your time, your honour” Alastor bowed, resting his case as he turned on his heels back towards his seat in the audience, plopping down with a chirpy attitude. All of the hotel’s crew gawked at him, clenching their seats in hopes of the results they started to whisper. 

“Don’t be guilty…” Charlie whispered, intertwining her fingers around Vaggie’s. The moth returned the same passion in the grasp, smiling reassuringly to her. Nifty hopped up to Husk’s lap and bit her nails, the feline allowing it as he anxiously stared ahead also. 

The judge hummed in agreement as the jury discussed, glaring at the surprised spider and the trembling mafia leader to the side. It wasn’t long before hammering down his mallet, shocking everyone out of pondering. “I declare the verdict… Not guilty!”

Angel finally exhaled with relief as he heard the cheers behind him, turning back to smile at the grinning overlord to mouth a thank you, which the overlord shook his head to and waved it away politely. His fluffy chest was met with Charlie’s head, squeezing the life out of him. “It’s fine toots, I told ya I’d win it.”

“You were lucky this time, Angel” Vaggie sighed, eyes and smile soft to the eased tension. She couldn’t help but frown in thought however, as she glanced back behind her to watch the same venison eyes stare back. “I can’t believe he actually did it…”

“After all, my dear” Alastor spoke up. “You never know who’s there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who likes this fanfic! It's up to you all whether I should continue this being a RadioDust fanfic or not. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions, comments, feedback, make sure to post it down below.


	2. Cell Block Tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel Dust is curious about Alastor's true intentions after his successful trial the day before. 
> 
> And after a long day at work, he stumbles upon Mimzy's club, finding it a perfect opportunity to relax and maybe find out more about The Radio Demon through Mimzy and her friends. 
> 
> He didn't need to say a word when he arrived, as once he was seated with a drink at his table, a performance that told the tales of Alastor and his friends was shown to Angel and the crowd. 
> 
> Perhaps Alastor isn't as bad as people make him out to be.

He turned up at Angel’s trial the previous day to defend the spider with plenty of evidence to share, how he got that evidence was unknown to him. Long story short, he won the trial, proving Angel not-guilty while their opponent Mr. Snark trembled deep down in a sandy ditch, unable to dig himself out after that. 

Poor son of a bitch. 

Not long after did Valentino persuade Angel to meet up at the porn studio, lecturing him yet also coddling him with gifts and empty promises. It was exhausting, he needed a drink as soon as he could after that mess. And alongside the threats Vox spat, babbling on about The Radio Demon staying part-time at the hotel, he decided it was time to learn the arts of befriending the overlord. After all, how great would it be if he could have Alastor as protection against Valentino or anymore mob gangstas? 

On second thoughts, he needed two drinks to clear his delusional mind. That was impossible, said the pussycat at the bar, and the spider bought his word for it after the rumours Vaggie warned him about. But if he was going to have one drink or more, he needed a pleasant place; a relaxing, luxurious, smoking-friendly poor bitches club. 

...And what better place to celebrate than the free-for-all Mimzy’s place? 

The club was known for welcoming any guests varying from wealthy to status, so gaining access into the place was simple. It did have a reputation for having multiple allies, tied from Rosie to Alastor to the royals too- and it was somehow still intact despite the many disputes there. 

He waltzed in there like he was a regular, seating himself around the centre of the club so he had both eyes on the stage and the distant tables in front. Then the spider was immediately greeted by a waiter, who took down his order and disappeared as duty called. 

In some ways, the spider was a regular. He occasionally came to the club with Cherry for a place to smoke, drink and gossip, maybe catch a glimpse of which overlord Angel was to fuck in the stalls next. All the guests there knew who Angel was, being the most famous porn star in the pentagram city and perhaps farther. 

Although Angel initially wanted a drink and cigar to indulge in alone, he didn’t mind watching the shows Mimzy pulled on either. Maybe the infamous radio star would be here too, knowing and supporting Mimzy with all of his cannibal heart. After all, he did need to investigate further into Alastor’s life if he wanted him as a bodyguard. 

As the flashy lights came to an end, the spider reunited his thoughts with his body, watching the stage gradually grow dim with a spotlight in the middle. He hadn’t noticed his drink on a coaster at his table as he watched a figure come out of the shadows. 

And as if his mind was read from afar, the chapper red deer appeared on stage with his microphone, possessing his good looks and charming grin. 

“And now, the six red cannibalists part of the Sinful Crimson Veil, in their rendition of… The Cell Block Tango!” 

His radio voice was evident as ever with the static buzzing quietly around him, announcing the show’s performers onstage as he skipped to the side of the stage for precautions. Angel turned to focus on the spotlight, revealing six feminime figures stepping out of the stage’s shadows and into the spotlight. 

The first woman was a popular sight to see in Hell, with the classic demonic horns and the hair parted aside and into a bun to emphasize her glowing, ruby eyes. The dress she wore was very much a Victorian one, Angel can identify one if he sees one easily. As the ends of her sleeves had golden cuffs that matched the navy dress that flowed down to her knees, just about where her stockings met her heeled tapping shoes. 

“ _ Pop _ !” The woman made the audience jump. 

The next one was a slender frame dressed in a long flowy dress and short sleeves, as her wavy hair met the ends of them and parted ways to reveal her burgundy eyes. She tapped the same style of shoes as her partner, before taking a mic for herself and stepping in front of the rest to present. 

Her tone was seductive despite her scrawny appearance, but Angel knew judging a book by its cover was worthless in Hell. He even considered the spine-chilling voice she used, wondering if Valentino would give him more credit for acting more like this. “ _ Six _ ~” 

The last girl he couldn’t recognize was more on the heavier side, though that didn’t affect anyone as much as it would in the human realm. Her fringe covered her right eye to illuminate her velvet one to the left, but that wasn’t the only striking place to Angel and the audience. Her bust could be seen from the end of the club with the tightly fitted dress, short enough to also reveal her attractive thighs. 

‘Looks like Al’s picked the right gals. Is this ‘is taste?’ Angel thought to himself, only to hear the powerful single word the performer delivered to the front and back. 

“ _ Squish _ ~”

“What the hell!?” Angel whispered out loud, catching a flew irritated stares from the demons around him. Why in the whole of Pentagram city was Niffty there on stage? Her outfit was slightly different, keeping the prints she had on the last dress except the colours matched Alastor’s palette exactly. Father-like-daughter, Angel snickered to the idea. 

And she sounded just as innocent as she does at the hotel. “ _ Uh uh _ !”

Mimzy. Occasionally Angel and Cherry would talk smack about the men around them in the club, Mimzy joining in on the gossip gladly. Ever since the dapper deer joined the hotel, all she would ask the two was just one specific question. “Does he talk about me?” An obsessed chick, Angel absolutely loved it. If it meant she only found Alastor admirable about of all the men there, that means the spider was free in choosing whoever he wanted without the gal being jealous. Or rather, the men and women would be jealous of her and her talent. 

“ _ Cicero… _ ” 

“ _ Lipschitz _ .” The last word came from an overlord unknown to most. She laid under the radar, allied with Alastor and several other overlords that pestered her for assistance on a daily basis. From what he was told by Charlie, she wasn’t at all like the rest of the overlords, a being that wasn’t exactly a sinner but she couldn’t pin-point the specifics. Regardless of who she is, Angel was warned to stay away just as urgently as when Vaggie warned him about Alastor, it’s no wonder the two have ties. 

They all stepped forward in unison, tapping their heels against the stage as the spotlight changed an eerie red colour. Now this is an evening off Angel wouldn’t mind enjoying anyday or everyday. 

_ “He had it comin’! _

_ He had it comin’! _

_ He only had himself to blame~ _

_ If you’d have been there, _

_ If you’d have seen it!” _

“I betcha you would have done the same!” Mimzy pointed a finger straight at the audience, joining the rest of the performers as they danced across the stage, singing with a passion in their voices that made their following stories almost sound true. 

_ “Pop, _

_ Six, _

_ Squish, _

_ Uh-Uh! _

_ Cicero… _

_ Lipschitz!” _

_ “Pop, _

_ Six, _

_ Squish, _

_ Uh-Uh! _

_ Cicero… _

_ Lipschitz!” _

“You know how people have these little habits that get you down?” Angel didn’t even know who the first woman was, and yet those words hit home hard for the pornstar. “Like most men these days… They like to chew gum. Oh but not chew,  _ pop!” _

She circled around the stage before laying eyes on the overlord standing off to the side, grinning proudly at them while she beamed at him like a follower to an idol. “So I came home this one day, and I’m really irritated. And I’m looking for a little bit o’ sympathy… But then I met him, a man above the rest with a red jacket and a welcoming smile... He said, “If they pop that gum one more time”, but of course they did.” 

Her mic was used to mimic some sort of weapon, leaning back as she aimed it towards the audience. “So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots. Into, their tiny thick heads!” She flicked the mic, earning a roar of laughter from the audience while Angel sat there interested; does Alastor have something in common with all of these women? Are they all in some contract?

_ “He had it comin’! _

_ He had it comin’! _

_ He only had himself to blame~ _

_ If you’d have been there, _

_ If you’d have seen it! _

_ I betcha you would have done the same!”  _

“I met a guy from the Pentagram City about two years ago. And he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away~” It sounded too familiar to the pornstar, jumping straight into a contract he didn’t even gloss over the details for. What did this performer do about it? Angel wondered with his chin resting against his palm. 

“So we started living together. He’d go to work, he’d come home… I’d fix him a drink, we’d have dinner. And then I found out, “Single” he told me. Single my ass! Not only was he married- oh no, he had a fatal crush on Mister Radio demon!” The audience started to cackle with laughter again, even making the spider chuckle too. “So that night when he came home from work, “Radio” and I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can’t hold their arsenic…”

_ “He had it comin’! _

_ He had it comin’! _

_ He took a flower in its prime~ _

_ And then he used it, _

_ And he abused it! _

_ It was a murder, but not a crime!” _

“Now I’m standing in the kitchen, carvin’ up a demon-stuffed stew for dinner. Minding my own business! In storms the radiohost in a seemingly jealous rage... “ ‘I can see where this is goin’’ Angel snorted. 

““You were stealin’ my treat, darling!”, he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screamin’, “You’re stealing my kill, my dear!” And then we both rammed the knife into the pot. We ran the knife into the body ten times…” 

_ “If you’d have been there, _

_ If you’d have seen it! _

_ I betcha you would have done the same!”  _

“Oh my god…” Angel grinned excitedly. 

Niffty stepped up to the front of the stage with a mic in her tiny hands, swaying it around as she mimicked it as a duster. “What was I thinking? Sitting in front of Mister Radio Demon’s tower, I was crazy! Beaten, mistreated, what does it take for a woman to get some peace around here!?” 

Angel didn’t expect for Niffty to have the same perspective as him. Now he’ll make sure to tidy his room everyday for the gal. “But I know what it takes. A man who takes you in, a man who gives you a very pretty dress… And a man, who lets you murder every son of a bitch who double crossed ya!” She slammed her heel down onto the stage powerfully, striking the poor spider’s heart at how adorable yet threatening the pipsqueak could be. 

“My dear radio boy and I had this double act, and my boyfriend Brad traveled round with us. Now, for the last number in our act we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three… Four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips! Flip flops! One right after the other. So this one night before the show, we are down at the Hotel Cicero. The three of us, Brad, my friend Beatrice and I, boozin’, havin’ a few laughs. And then we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door… And there’s Beatrice with  _ my _ Brad, doing number seventeen. The spread eagle!” 

She laughed like a maniac behind her fist before straightening her back upright to carry out her performance. If these stories were true, that means Alastor was helping them in their own strange ways. Maybe Angel could show it to Charlie and she’ll see the good in the overlord. “Well, I was in such a state of shock that I had to call one man and that man only… It wasn’t until later when I watched him wash the blood off his hands I even knew they were dead…” 

_ “They had it comin’ (they had it comin’)! _

_ They had it comin’ (they had it comin’)! _

_ They had it comin’ all along~ _

_ I didn’t do it (she didn’t do it), _

_ But if I’d done it! (but if she’d done it!) _

_ How could you tell me that I was wrong?  _

_ They had it comin’ (they had it comin’)! _

_ They had it comin’ (they had it comin’)! _

_ They had it comin’ all along~ (they took a flower in its prime~) _

_ I didn’t do it (and then they used it), _

_ But if I’d done it! _

_ How could you tell me that I was wrong?” _

“I loved Franklin more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy; sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to find himself…” The performer Angel was most curious about. Not just a performer, but an overlord who appeared weaker than she truly was. He knew that because neverwise the alliance between her and Alastor would be futile, they must have something to owe each other. It would be unlikely for The Radio Demon to owe a weaker overlord something, there had to be a bigger picture to it. 

“He’d go out every night looking for himself, and on the way… He found a demon, an angel spear, a demon impaled by the angel spear. I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive, and  _ we _ saw him dead!”

_ “The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!” _

The finale was approaching, Alastor still looking on proudly like he was supporting a group of friends. This was definitely a night to remember, as after learning about Alastor’s involvement in six female cannibals and how he changed their lives, maybe there was hope for Angel’s own involvement with Alastor. 

_ “The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!” _

No, those women had good reasons. Cheated, abused, disrespected or plain dense men, Angel was hardly one to be seen as “one in need” from the overlord’s eyes. Angel figured he needed something that would catch his attention-

-Perhaps the attention of other overlords! Angel grew ecstatic at the plan reciting over and over in his mind. Charlie begs for his attendance all the time, so if Angel decided to actually listen to her, Valentino will get jealous and Vox will get even more riled up thinking it’s the works of The Radio Demon. The only hard part was executing the plan, his boss isn’t that stupid…

_ “They had it comin’ (they had it comin’)! _

_ They had it comin’ (they had it comin’)! _

_ They had it comin’ all along~ _

_ ‘Cause if they used us (‘cause if they used us), _

_ And they abused us! (and they abused us!) _

_ How could you tell us that we were wrong?” _

_ “He had it comin’ (he had it comin’)! _

_ He had it comin’ (he had it comin’)! _

_ He only had himself to blame~ (he only had himself to blame~) _

_ If you’d have been there (if you’d have been there), _

_ If you’d have seen it! (if you’d have seen it!) _

_ I betcha you would have done the same!” _

Their moves were fierce, tapping their heels along the floor as each of them flicked off the men in the audience, before individually walking up to Alastor for a brief greeting. Soon they exited the stage and Alastor centered back into the spotlight, uncontrollable cheering coming from both him and the audience. 

“Give it up for our beloved performers tonight!” He enjoyed the roar his audience shouted out, laying eyes on one blatantly obvious spider who mindlessly stared back. 

“Shit- It’s gettin’ late anyways” Angel grabbed his stuff and rushed out through the doors. Did Alastor care that he was there? Shocked, definitely, but disturbed? Hopefully not. 

Because now that Angel finally has a plan to get closer to the deer, it will be an advantage nobody in Hell could easily buy or work their way towards. 

As long as it meant getting away from that rat bastard. 

“Where have you been?” Vaggie snapped before he could jump up the stairs, so excited that maybe he could jump up there rather than walk up. 

Angel smirked, swaying his hips over towards Vaggie. “None of ya business. I ‘adda chance to get ta know Bambi better. Text me ‘bout it later though toots, I got stuff to do.” He ran up the stairs on the safer side, squealing to his room loud enough to shock the booze out of Husk. 

Vaggie was going crazy in her mind, as the sentence alone sent the couple into a spiral of paranoia contrasting hope. Charlie tried to convince Vaggie that Alastor was changing, whilst Vaggie disagreed and knew Angel meant something else. Angel couldn’t help but laugh in amusement at their debate, and yet only he knew the answer to their questions. 

...That Alastor is one hot son of a bitch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for this fanfic's recognition everyone! I got a little too excited writing this and couldn't wait to publish, not wanting to spend awhile editing and instead to throw it out there as a silly chapter. 
> 
> Of course, inspired by Chicago musical, "Cell Block Tango", except I changed the lyrics mostly to fit storyline and all. 
> 
> The first three female characters are from Faustisse & Viv and her team. Credits here: https://twitter.com/Faustisse/status/1251073310391250950  
> (THEY ARE NOT MY CHARACTERS)
> 
> If you have any suggestions, comments, anything, feel free to post below!


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